"Lauren's smile put the sun to shame."
-A guest at my wedding told my parents this. Made me swoon a little inside. I still can't get over it. I'm not a huge fan of my smile. It makes my chin even pointier and I wouldn't list it on my favorite physical attributes. And I know who said this, so I know it's sincere!
People (and when I say people, I mean me) are so caught up in the quest for perfection and we are pulled down when we compare our lives to what it ought to be, or at least what we think it should be. So in this world, a sincere compliment is better than any present.
I'm complimented when...
-People read this blog! I did not think that I'd have hundreds of readers from all over the globe.
-People comment and say "hey, I have bipolar disorder too! I'm so glad you're writing about it."
-People comment and say "hey, someone I know read your blog and when I was diagnosed they pointed me in this direction." Aww, shucks. I just go all soft inside.
-Someone says that my writing helped them. WHOO!
-Someone wants to be my friend. All of my friendships are compliments- I can be a good friend. I can offer something to a person.
-My parents say they are proud of me. My heart sings.
-Moby acts like I'm the coolest person ever.
-Hannah or Madison says I'm cool. High praise to get that from siblings- we are very stingy with our compliments.
-Random stranger smiles at you. Isn't that the best?!
-My friends tell me that I'm worthy. I need to hear it. We all need to hear it. God tells us ALL the time, but sometimes we're so darn deaf to his love that he has to speak through others. If you remember nothing else, remember this bullet point. That was a good sentence!
**You never know when your compliment will turn someone's day around.**
All the ladies are going to be jealous: I have got the best husband for compliments. He wakes me up with a "Hello Dear. You look beautiful." Now I would give you a picture of what I look like when I wake up, but I can assure you, your computer screen would go black to protect you. To get this look from me in 30 seconds- turn me upside down and vigorously scrub my undone hair until it looks like the woodland creatures are going to call it home. Take off my makeup and make sure I look as pale as possible. Add old t shirt and men's pj pants. To cap it off, add the evil stink eye. You do not want to get the evil stink eye, but somehow, Thomas is immune to my morning stink eye. He goes- "You look gorgeous!" And then the heavy artillery of loud kisses all over my face to ensure that I do not doze off. After this affection, I generally glare at him and march off to the bathroom. All day I get: "Hey, did I tell you that you are beautiful?" Not in the last 5 minutes. I could be covered in manure wearing old mummy wrappings and I would get such love.
To cap it off, he's sincere. "You look stunning." "I am so glad I married you." "Your writing is fantastic." "I don't deserve you." "I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have married this smart, funny, sarcastic, beautiful, sexy woman." Brownie points for Husband: he always times the sexy and hot right. In today's pro-feme culture, I know a lot of women don't want to be told an undue amount of times that they look hot. Because you're like- gee, thanks, do I have any other qualities? Let's have a soul-bearing moment. I was not the hot girl in high school. Let's be real. I was tall and pale in a world of petite, bikini wearing, tan girls. I had red hair, not blond, or deep brown. I was slender, but more comfy with jeans than heels. I had brown eyes that didn't match... whatever look I was hitting. I was confident and happy with where I was, but hot was never going to make it. So the slightly self-conscious girl in me wonders just every now and then if she has it at 23. Did I grow into my body? Have I lost too much weight? Did my acne mess up my face for good? Husband wins because when I do dress up, or even when I don't, he questions "Have I told you lately that I think you're sexy?" Damn if that doesn't do it for me every time. He also enjoys it immensely when other guys check me out. I think that's more of a compliment for him than it is for me, but I'll let him have it!
Tonight I had it! Tonight I twisted my red hair (that I have grown to love) into a low bun, put on my pearl earrings, pearl necklace, this beautiful navy blue, strapless eyelet lace (yes lined!) dress with a fitted bodice and pleated front, a spice colored wrap, and pale heels. More eye makeup than normal, too. The best compliment is Thomas's face when I turned at the top of the stairs. All of those compliments he gives me, all rolled into one. I can't believe that she's my wife. It's his face when he sees me- that face that I know he'll still give me when we're 80.
Compliments for you:
You are worthy! I love you! You're swell. You look lovely today, there in those sweatpants- you go girl. Hello sir- your grey hair gives you a distinguished look. You shaved today? Go you! Ladies and gentlemen, God loves you. You are gorgeous. Well hey there stud-muffin!
Go forth and compliment each other.