This is why we can't have nice things

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Have you heard of dog shaming? Consider this my submission.

I came home the other day to find this. There are no words. Moby, my sweet puppy, went bananas while I was gone for 2 hours. He must have had some idea that he was in trouble, because he sat there and let me take pictures. And whimpered softly.

Hi, I'm Moby. I'm a German Shorthair Pointer.

My humans put this really nice fluffy bed in my crate. 
For two months, I did not abuse the privilege.

Then the smoke alarm went off while my humans were out.

I freaked out a little.

Now I want to have a contest to see who can create the funniest internet meme. Like this one. Or this one. Or this one. Submit your caption in a comment or email, and I'll make the funniest ones and post them back here. 

In other news, Little One moved today! Like, I could actually feel it. Actually, I can feel it. It hasn't stopped moving. Apparently all it needed was a pep talk from Dad-to-be last night, when he told it that he knows it's nice to be lazy on a cushy waterbed-bladder, but it would really make my day if he/she put the moves on. It definitely has made my day. More on this when my 20 week post (can you believe it??) is up tomorrow or Monday.

19 Weeks

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Just a few quick notes: Comment moderation has been turned on. You should see your comments pop up within a few hours. I tried to turn the word verification (the please make sure you're not a robot) off because it can be so difficult to read, but I got so many spammy comments! If that is a factor in whether or not you leave a comment, let me know, and I'll see what I can do. I try to reply by comments via email now. If you are a no-reply commenter, you can check out my reply under your comment, as I was doing for all comments. Faith and Macaroni also has a Facebook page! Back to our regular programming now:

 19 weeks! And a visibly protruding belly.

How far along? 19 weeks! The Jellybean is the size of a mango (oooh, more exotic produce!). 6 inches long, and 8.5 ounces. Highlights: Little One has hair on his or her head!
Total weight gain? 8 pounds. I'm realizing how easy it is to go from "no weight gain no matter how hard I try" to "if I let myself go, I might be able to gain 10 pounds in a week." That last part is not an exaggeration. I'm not very worried about my weight, but I do still have 21 more weeks to go... Hungry little mango baby. Hungry mama.
Maternity clothes? Non-maternity clothes are definitely starting to sit funny! I looked down the other day (thank goodness I was in my house) to see my pants, two inches of bump, and my shirt perched jauntily on top. I'm more careful about what I wear out!
Movement? Oh I have been waiting so long for it! Monday afternoon I went upstairs and laid on my side in hopes of feeling it move... and then inadvertently ended up taking a two hour nap! I wait every night before I go to bed, too. I know for the first pregnancy (when you don't really know what you're waiting to feel), it can be up to 22+ weeks before you feel it, so I'm not worried.

Miss anything? Sushi and steak (steak because I like mine cooked medium-rare, and everything I hear says to keep all of your meat fully cooked. I'm not 80 yet, I don't want my steak well-done).
Food cravings? Bread and butter. We got some Smart Balance olive oil spread and it is rocking my world- spread over the Publix 5 grain Italian (hearty, but still bread-like) fresh baked... oh my. Heaven. That, and we had amazing chicken parmesan tonight. (Thanks for the recipe, Mom!) Oh it was so good and I am sitting here feeling so satisfied.
Have you started to show? Yes. If you come visit me at 10 pm, I truly look 5 months pregnant. By the time I go to sleep, I'm usually convinced that the fetus is no longer in the fetal position, and is doing long stretching yoga poses in it's habitat.
Sleep? Better this week than the last few. Still the occasional ligament pain and general discomfort. Lots of funny dreams though. Topics include icing cake, eating cake, the baby (girl in my dream), Thomas working weird jobs (can't remember the specifics), etc.

Looking forward to? Movement, the big ultrasound next week, and my prenatal massage tomorrow!! Oh yes, 45 awesome minutes to ease discomfort, help me relax, and improve my circulation. Thanks, Husband! You're the best.
Symptoms: Allergies (though they've gotten better), headaches, itchy itchy dry skin, and very fast-growing fingernails and hair!
Belly Button in or out? Still in. Still funny looking. The only way I can think to describe it is this: before, if you stuck your finger in my belly button, it would have gone straight in (and I would have slapped you). Now, if you stuck your finger in my belly button, it will go in at a 45 degree angle (and I would still slap you). Does that help?
Gender? April 5. April 5. So close and yet so far away!
Best moment this week? Lots of ups and downs this week, but definitely the most memorable moments have been Moby and Otto coming up to my belly and sniffing a great deal. I think they know something's up!
What do I know? Ditto what I wrote last week. Back support!

 The flash didn't go off, sorry. But it was a funny picture!

Note to the Jellybean: You make me a better person. There have been a few situations recently where I've wanted my raging hormones/more passionate side (to put it nicely) to win out. But after I think about you, I don't. Let's be honest, Little Bit, I don't know Jack Diddly about parenting yet and I will not pretend to know anything. But I have a few goals. I want you to know every single day that you're alive/living in my uterus that you are loved. You are always going to be loved by me and by your father. ALWAYS. I want you to know that God loves you. Like, this crazy almost inexplicable amount that will be really hard to grasp, but we'll try to teach you anyway. Because of the love of your earthy parents and your heavenly one (and a whole bunch of other people who you'll get introduced to soon), I want you to try your hardest to share that love and grace with everyone else. People you agree with, people you don't, people who deserve it, people who don't. Because there will be at least one point in your life where you do something to feel like you don't deserve anyone's love- and we will all still be here loving you anyway. Everyone deserves love, Little One. Everyone. Because of what I want to teach you and the person I'd like you to be, I try to make sure that I'm the person that I should be to teach you these things. So thank you, little tiny mango-sized human whose limbs and head are all now fully proportional. Thank you for making me think twice before I do something mean or stupid and be a little faster to grace and love.

Blog-Keeping. Just as much fun as housekeeping.

Monday, March 18, 2013

I learned yesterday that they (the all-powerful entity that is Google) are getting rid of Google Reader and Google Friend Connect (the little photo icons on the side of the blog of people who are ever so kind enough to follow me). This means that I have to become more social-media savvy to assist you (my lovely readers) in finding new ways to keep up with this blog. I admit, this blog was about as social-media savvy as I got. I have no Twitter, I forget to use Instagram, I still don't know exactly what Google + is (would someone like to explain it to me?), and basically, though I was a child of the internet, I am not as good as everyone else is in keeping up with it. But times change and Google Reader dies. That is life. So here's what I'm doing to ensure that you can still follow along...

I bit the bullet and got a Facebook page for this little blog. I know, Facebook wants small businesses to pay and blogs to pay to get their readers to see them (and I'm definitely not bringing in any money from this blog... maybe one day), but if this works for you, hooray! I'll put any new posts on here, any blog related updates, and whatever else I can think of. It also creates yet another way for you to get in touch with me. I've already tried (and failed) to put in one of the little Facebook "like boxes" in my sidebar, so if anyone wants to help me with that, I'm open to assistance. If you are friends with me on my personal page, I will still be posting new blog posts there as well.

This little box has been in my right sidebar for quite a while now. You put in your email address, it sends a confirmation email to you, and voila, you get the newest blog posts sent to your email. They usually arrive a few hours after I post them. You will have to come back to the blog to post a comment, see what the blog looks like, or check out tab ("about," "bipolar disorder," etc) content- all you get in the email is a new post.

It's like Google Reader, only super clean and very easy to follow. You can even import all of your Google Reader blogs when you sign up. It took me approximately 46.7 seconds to get going. You can mark posts as "read" or "unread" and generally just keep everything in one place. Easy peasy. Even for me. This is what it looks like and those are some of the blogs I follow...

So there you go. One other option is to relentlessly come back day after day the old school way (by typing the URL of my blog in) and see if I've posted anything. You know, whatever works for you. I just want you to be happy. Really. I even learned how to do screen shots on my computer to make you happy. Did you like that? I know, super fancy.

Another note on comments: I have been faithfully replying to comments on my blog posts under the comments that you leave. I am going to switch to email (unless you are a no-reply commenter, in which case, you can find my reply under your comment on the blog). Okay? Cool. So if you want to get replies from me via email, add to your address book. Due to technology and whatnot, they may accidentally come from my personal email address. Sorry to confuse you. Okay, are we done with blog-keeping for the day? Because I have to get on this housekeeping stuff eventually...

18 Weeks

Sunday, March 17, 2013

 I'm sorry? Wasn't it just the size of a lime yesterday?

How far along? 18 weeks! The Jellybean is the size of a sweet potato. 5.6 inches long, and 6.7 ounces. Highlights: Little One is yawning, hiccuping, swallowing, twisting, and kicking.
Total weight gain? Whoooo boy! 6 pounds. This is not shocking. I am hungry all of the time. I'm just trying to keep it semi-steady so I don't blow through all of my maternity weight in one go. Some days it really feels like I will!
Maternity clothes? Just the belly band and maternity leggings. Of course, anything with a little extra fabric in the belly doesn't hurt. I'm always trying to find new ways to wear things.
Movement? Not that I can feel. Books and people keep taunting me with it! But it could really be any day, so I try and get though the icky stomach muscle pain and hope that one night I'll be rewarded with my little one moving instead!

Working our way through the produce section slowly but surely.
On a related note, sweet potatoes are .99 cents a pound at Publix.

Miss anything? Just the usual suspects: deli meat, hot dogs, and rarely cooked meat.
Food cravings? Potatoes this week! Baked potatoes, mashed potatoes- yum starch. Deviled eggs as well (I ate four of them tonight). Also, strawberries, milk, basil pesto, chicken salad, and hot tea.
Have you started to show? Yes. Some clothing can still hide it on occasion, but it's there.
Sleep? Not good. The muscles in my abdomen have been stretching, and they do it at the inconvenient time of the very middle of the night. So I may fall asleep quickly, and Thomas assures me that I can sleep in as late as I want, but most nights I am awake and horribly uncomfortable.
Looking forward to? Of course, you know I'll say movement! With everyone telling me how awesome it is, how could I not look forward to it? Thomas and I are also very excited about the big ultrasound on April 5 (nervous and excited).

Gotta put my hand on the top of the bump, so you can see it.

Symptoms: Allergies, headaches, extra veins & more noticeable veins, itchy skin, mild back pain, and rapid weight gain.
Belly Button in or out? I have a very deep "innie" normally, and it still is inward, but it's changing shape for sure! Not as deep, and kind of a weird shape.
Gender? April 5. I will let you know when I know!
What do I know? I never really understood lumbar pillows until I was pregnant.
Note to the Jellybean: You are so loved, Jellybean. Your whole family (and our extended network of friends) can't wait for you to get here. We're all talking to you as much as possible- Madison chatted your ear off about onesies tonight, Thomas tells you how much he loves you, and I just jabber to you about whatever I'm doing. I think you'll be very quick to put faces with voices! I'm always pestering encouraging your Dad to talk to you more. He's slowly getting more comfortable with it, but give him time. I'm still getting used to talking to my stomach!

Official 18 week photo. Also, I had no idea that this super cute tunic would work out so well
for pregnancy! I think I'll start wearing this frequently. Forgive me, I don't have many options.
(H&M Scotland a few years ago- has a few subtle pleats for maximum belly comfort.)

P.S. - Aren't you glad I got those bangs figured out? Me too.

17 Weeks

Monday, March 11, 2013

 Hello readers! Welcome to Week 17! This is my onion baby!

How far along? 17 weeks! The Jellybean is the size of an onion. 5.1 inches long, and 5.9 ounces. Highlights: Little One has fingerprints and the cartilage skeleton is turning to bone.
Total weight gain? 4 pounds. I weighed 125 pre-pregnancy. As I told a friend last night, 2 of those pounds went to my love handles and the remaining pounds and a few ounces went to the belly. Ahh, full disclosure.
Maternity clothes? Just the belly band. If you don't know what that is, click here. Well, and some maternity leggings from Gap. I finally know why every pregnant lady raves about them. I would like at least 2 more pair! They are beyond comfortable.
Movement? Nope. The only thing moving are my muscles- and it hurts! They are stretching and moving to accommodate the rapidly increasing size of the babe and it's dwelling. The optimum time for this must be 4 am, when I am trying to sleep. It is severely uncomfortable.

Ahh, out-takes. Don't know what this face was for, but it's lovely, isn't it?

Miss anything? Being able to breathe. I finally went to the doctor who informed me that it's a combination of allergies and sinusitis (which sounds like a made up word, but it's real- inflamed linings of my nose and lungs). I've never really had allergies before, but oh the joys of pregnancy. My condolences to anyone else in the Charleston area battling the insane amount of pollen.
Food cravings? Spaghettios, strawberries, hamburgers, Sour Patch Kids, strawberry-kiwi Jello cups (definitely the best flavor), and anything else I can think of.
Aversions? Mostly just being a picky eater again.
Have you started to show? Yep. It may be small, but I have a small bump at all hours of the day now. Grows a lot after a big meal though... or if I'm pushing it out to stretch my back. :)
Bipolar Disorder? Nothing since the post a while back. Yay! I'm just aware of what's going on, taking each day as it comes.
Looking forward to? Move, Chicklet, move! Whenever you want...
Favorite: Whenever my most amazing husband remembers my cravings and comes walking in the door with whatever I've been talking about for the past few hours/days.

Official week 17 photo. Also, I'm cutting my bangs tomorrow morning.
Check it- did you notice there's a bump in all of the pictures? That's my baby!

Best day this week? Okay, I know it's Lent, but Hallelujah!! for nesting and spring cleaning coinciding. Okay, Hallelujahs back in the box until March 31. It's been awesome. As you (and my husband) well know, my first trimester had me sleeping more than anything else, so cooking and cleaning went on the back burner. But now that my energy is back, I've been tackling projects left and right. Closets are being cleaned out, junk is tossed, and the house is feeling happier and cleaner. I still put my feet up at the end of the day (or sometimes during it), but I'm very productive.
Gender? I officially do not care. There are cute boy clothes and cute girl clothes. There are reasons I'm scared of having a boy (potty training) and a girl (boys). People keep asking me as I get closer to the ultrasound, but what can I do about it? Nothing. Baby B has already made up it's mind and we are just waiting to be clued in in the coming weeks. I'll probably cry of delight either way.
What do I know? I am scared of this big ultrasound. Everyone talks about the gender, but since we opted out of the very early tests for potential problems, this could be the first time we find out about scarier things. It's okay, nothing anyone says will make me feel super until I manage to get this baby out of me... then I breathe for a minute... then motherhood sets in. I will be worrying for the rest of my life. As my grandpa says: "Oh me oh my."
Sorry kid, but... You just might end up as pale as me. Your father has a farmer's tan, which proves he has the ability to add color to his skin. I don't have that ability. You're part Swedish/German (a little Irish, Blackfoot, and English thrown in for flavor) kid, face the facts now. Your dad is Irish, Scottish, and English, so there might not be too much hope on that side either. Good luck.

On Bipolar Disorder and Pregnancy- Part 3

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

So I started going off my medications. Depending on the medicine and what it was used for (anti-depressant, mood stabilizer, etc), I went down a percentage of one medication's full strength every 10 days. My doctor wrote a little chart out so I could keep track of a very long term plan. It's tricky business. We had to factor in which would be most important for me to stay on for the longest time (the last one I would go off) and which would be the least important (all relative, but the first I would attempt to go off).

I was really excited for what all of this would mean- getting to try to have a baby. But other than that, I was so not looking forward to this. I hadn't been without medications since I was 17 or 18 - around the time I first got diagnosed with Major Depression. The years spent figuring out what medications would work... well, let's just say those are top contenders for the worst years of my life. I would go back through middle school again before repeating my early 20s. (Hint: I hated middle school. Aside: did anyone have a good experience in middle school?) When I finally found medications that were working and holding strong, I was not so ready to give it all back up.

This was an arduous process. It was also enlightening. Let me explain. The diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder itself is hard enough to come by. Psychiatric medications (or "head meds," as I affectionately call them) take an incredibly long time to start working. It takes roughly 6 to 8 weeks to start working and even longer for them to reach their full potential. I remember my dad asking me once, when I was just totally and completely in the middle of a breakdown I was having years ago, "don't they have anything they can give you now?" Unfortunately, no. There is no instant fix - and we all wish there was one. Medications can also plateau. They rise up over the weeks, and then simply reach their full potential. For some people, that can be after months or even years of working out great. It's also not a simple answer of dosage. Most doctors have the goal (a great one) of wanting you to be on the fewest number of meds at the lowest possible dose. Over medicating can be problematic for many reasons, but one of them being that it is often when patients start complaining that the medicine is over-riding their personality. Would you want that? To feel numb? Trust me, it's not good.

Bipolar disorder is so tricky- there are very few of us who are really okay with being on only one medication. That's another thing that stinks. Four turned out to be my magic number before I went off of everything. Two was the lowest combination, and I think six may have been my highest. I was on a mood stabilizer, anti-anxiety medication, antidepressant, and a slightly different mood stabilizer. I wish I could tell you more about the chemistry of how they all work, but that is currently beyond my grasp. The goal of a mood stabilizer (besides the obvious name), is to set the patient on an even keel. This is incredibly difficult to do- there are medicines to bring my depression up, to settle me down, but an attempt to keep me even, from going either up or down, without making me the most boring person on the planet- I find that impressive. But a mood stabilizer, as simplistic as the name sounds, will not usually work on its own. I am more inclined towards depression, less toward manic episodes, so the antidepressant is key for me. I also have a problem with anxiety- those tiny little 5 milligrams (very small pill!) made me feel normal once again.

So what do those last two paragraphs have to do with going off the medications? Or going on them? I'm sorry, but this is such a huge topic. I'm doing my best to be concise. Again, if you feel like I've skipped over anything, leave me a line in the comments. I'll do my best to address it in a post, follow up comment, or email, if that's what you prefer.

When you are a Bipolar patient, you and your doctor are trying to address immediate needs with medications that don't work in an immediate fashion. You want to feel better today, now. But it's not so easy. So your doctor puts you on M. M takes 6 weeks to work, but you find out that it gives you a horrible side effect- your skin turns purple (totally made up, never happened to me). Yikes. You get taken off M. You go on N. N is pretty good. It takes a while and eventually stops the mania. Sweet. But you find you are more succeptible to depression after say, 12 weeks. So you go on O, an antidepressant. Whoops, you sleep 15 hours out of the day. But it's really great and you feel really great, so you tell the doc, I can live with this. N starts to slip. It's just not progressing. But you tolerate it well, so doc adds another. P. Oddly enough P makes you unable to, well, pee (true story, happened to me, didn't pee for 48 hours). Doc freaks out and takes you off of it immediately. Q works well and you start to feel better. All of this, this on and off, takes you maybe 28 weeks. This is way oversimplified. I've lost count of the number of meds I have tried over the years. It's well past 30, I can tell you that for sure. And you're never truly done. I constantly go in for updates. I'm not even on medications now, and I see my psychiatrist every 8 weeks.

In the middle of all of this, you battle incessant side effects. It's insane. Here are just a few of mine: too much sleep, not being able to sleep, racing thoughts, dry mouth, the aforementioned true story that I won't repeat, hair loss, weight gain, weight loss, general fatigue, and so many other things. But you can't really drop a medication once you get a weird side effect. Sometimes you just deal. I dealt with weight loss and trouble sleeping for a long time. I was seriously thin- 117 pounds and 5'9". Then there was the time in college I gained 30 lbs in 4 months. I did not like that. But being way bigger or way smaller? Sometimes it's worth it, just to get your brain to feel normal for a while. Or the medication where I took a nap 6 out of 7 days a week. I did what I had to do. So losing some of the side effects was nice. But I have to take Benadryl every night because I was on a medicine that made me sleepy for so long, my body no longer knows how to put itself to sleep at night. Haha, oh well.

It is usually easy to determine what medicine particular side effects are attached to. But it's much harder, in the midst of rapid medication changes, to determine what exactly your medications are controlling in your brain. When I went off that first medication, a more minor mood stabilizer, boy I could feel it. I knew exactly how my brain was acting differently! It is gradual when you go on a head med and then mixed with other medications, it can be hard to pin point exactly what changes. As I pulled off the antidepressant next, I knew exactly what it was doing, and so on and so forth. In the jumble of commotions, side effects, and problems, going on medications can be hard. But the clarity I received in going off of them... I just think it's invaluable and as I said before, enlightening.

I was trying to explain this to my therapist and she asked if I would want to stay off of them permanently (given how well, overall, I have been doing). I was very quick to set her straight! When the time is right or needed, I will want to go back on my medications. However, I will be sure to be very clear about dosage (to be on the minimal amount) and also to, if at all possible, go on them slowly. I strive to be a good patient and be conscientious about what I put in my body and, to the best of my abilities, how it works.

I think it's a very hard line to walk, as doctors and patients. Doctors try to get you on something that will work, but every body processes things differently- different side effects, different symptoms, different timelines, different tolerances. It's not easy. They're not flying blind, but just cautiously, in one of the trickiest areas of the body, sometimes in fields with very little research. Remember my little protest for more studies in pregnant Bipolar women? I trust my doctor implicitly. I fully recognize how hard his job is. As patients, and sometimes as a nation, we raise up against the over-medication of people. We are afraid of too much or not getting enough. As someone who has been through years of this, I understand where both sides come from. Hopefully this helps you understand a little more too. Perhaps our next rally could be for further research into not only Bipolar Disorder, but all psychiatric disorders and developments. And also, pushing for constant monitoring and development of medications and treatments. Just saying... :)

The big disclaimer: do not self medicate or self diagnose or self impose any changes to your medications or plan of treatment if you have BPD, just because you read something here. For the same reasons that I don't give out the names of my medications, I can't advise that this plan will work for anyone else. My doctor, my body, my weird brain. Talk to your doctor about the best plan if you're Bipolar, plan on becoming pregnant or are already pregnant. I think I'll just add this to the sidebar.

Thanks to everyone who stuck through this little series with me. I may add more later, but for now, I hope this helps you see my journey. Keep asking questions and giving me feedback. I appreciate it.

16 Weeks

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

 Can we please just do this as fast as possible?
Too much sun, so much hair, excessive wind.

How far along? 16 weeks! It's going by fast. The Jellybean is the size of an avocado. 4.6 inches long, and 3.5 ounces. Big news this week: Baby can hear!
Total weight gain? Improvement! 4 pounds.
Maternity clothes? Hung and ready for me to wear in my closet. One day. Definitely don't fit in some of my old clothes though. I'm also ready for spring/summer - maxi dresses and skirts!
Sleep? Sleeping really well, quite the blessing.
Movement? I could have sworn that I felt something last night as I was getting ready to drift off. I think I'm just messing with myself though. However, no one is more antsy for movement than Thomas! He cannot wait to feel that baby kick.
Miss anything? Being able to breathe. I think I need to buy a humidifier.
Food cravings? Sour Patch Kids, cheese, bread and butter, bruschetta (which I will post a recipe for sometime soon), strawberries, salsa, chicken nuggets, Mexican food, Girl Scout cookies - grocery shopping is getting harder! I try so hard to stick to my list.
Aversions? Mostly just being a picky eater again. Sometimes a food will sound really gross one minute, and then a few days later I can't get enough of it.
Have you started to show? I had my first person (other than me or Thomas) recognize my baby bump and call it as such. Madison, SquirtFace, you made my day.
Bipolar Disorder? I've been doing okay. It seems to have backed off for now, and I am grateful. I'm moving on and keeping an eye out.
Looking forward to? Move, Chicklet, move!
Best day this week? Spending some time at a big consignment sale this past Saturday. It was all kid and baby things, so I got to scope out some things and scoop up some bargains. I got a Miracle Blanket (for swaddling) for $15, a Boon Frog for $5, some safety latches for a song, and a few other small things at great prices.
Gender? I'm starting to waver. I had a day dream about a little girl last week. I've said it before and I'll say it again- I'm more concerned with this little avocado being healthy than anything else.
Favorite: Loving that my nesting is kicking into high gear. Poor Thomas. I'm asleep on the couch one day, dragging him to Babies R Us the next day.
What do I know? Beware - reading comments on places like never seems to be a good idea. Limit your information to things and people you trust.
Sorry kid but... If you are a girl, your father may never let you date. I'll push for your dating privileges, but currently I'm trying to talk him out of buying a double-barreled shotgun if you are a girl. Because in his words, "If she is even half as beautiful as her mother, one barrel just won't be enough." I feel for you, honey.

Things happening in my house

Monday, March 4, 2013

 This photo has nothing to do with the content of this post. It is just beautiful. 
And we all deserve to look at something beautiful every day.
Isle of Iona, Scotland

+ Moby broke his collar today. The buckle snapped in two while he was out on his tie out in the back yard. Of course I don't have a spare collar that is his size, so he's currently wearing his puppy collar stretched to the max. A new Chaco collar is on its way from REI. Tomorrow Thomas and I go buy some tie out-appropriate collars.

+ Thomas is trying to convince me that having a gun in the house is a good idea. I cannot see the logic behind this. [Though I would like to insert that it's a personal choice to have a gun and I am not sweepingly anti-gun.] I'm just anti-gun for me. I have no reason for having one and never in the last 24 years have I needed one. However, he brought up the zombie apocalypse and I agreed since we don't have a fighting chance in other ways, it might be a point in the pro column.

+ The Jellybean has been mighty hungry today and that has led to some less-than-stellar nutritional choices. Not all of it was bad (another cucumber with vinegar), but I'm going to try for some more balanced options tomorrow. Please tell me why a half a bag (one of the small ones from Subway) of Doritos is just so satisfying?

+ My pregnancy congestion has led to additional problems of nosebleeds and horrible, dry lips from mouth breathing. It's not pretty. I also cannot drink booze, have a severely restricted diet, I sneeze more than anyone you've ever met, almost any smell freaks me out, and I am tired of having to perpetually sleep on my side. No, not complaining, just trying to help out those women whose uteri (that really is the plural, I looked it up) are also crying out for babies.

+ [If you are one of the aforementioned women who are not ready for a Jellybean of your own, then don't read this one.] Awesome things about pregnancy: Thomas has to do all the toilet/bathroom cleaning; ultrasounds and doppler heartbeats are the coolest things in the world; I can take naps anytime without weird looks; and I am growing a human in me! That thought can lead to trippy thoughts in your pregnant brain, existential quandaries, but mostly you just end up thinking how awesome God, women, and eventually you, are. Maybe I'm just weird.

+ If you see me in person, please don't comment on my hair. I'm hating it right now. My bangs (or small outcrop of hair nearest my forehead- they don't even deserve to be called bangs) are wonky every day and though I don't want them or wish they were longer, I also hate my forehead at the moment. The mistake of my haircut is currently growing out... okay, it's not that bad, but I'm hormonal- it feels bad. Something must be done!

+ I don't know how to get rid of the "Pin It" button that doesn't work and shows up below this post and every post. I'm fine if you want to pin anything on here to Pinterest (if you cite me as the source), but they changed their button settings shortly after I installed it and I can't find the proper tutorial on how to get it off. It's taken three years for the blog to get this far. I don't really know that much.

Okay kids, hopefully the 16 week pregnancy post will be up tomorrow, as it is written, I'm just waiting on my photographer to get home when there's light outside and we have the produce in question. Hint: guacamole!