Strangely, I'm pretty relaxed. I have accepted that she will come when she's ready, and other than being a little anxious about the labor and delivery process, I'm good. Almost all of the big things are done. Her nursery is all but finished, her tiny little clothes are all washed, we have someone to take care of the dogs, and we are stocked up on toilet paper. Our room is cleaned and we cleared off our small bookshelf so it now holds diapers, wipes, nursing pads, and other baby-related things. We will set up the pack n play (where she'll be sleeping) as soon as it gets here. The car seat is installed in the Outback (it took Thomas all of 4 minutes to do it, on that merit alone, I can recommend the one we got) and I ride around with my hospital bag in the trunk (I hope no one thinks that's anything important- the most they'd get away with is a few changes of clothes for Thomas and some pjs for me). One chair in the living room has the camera, a toiletry bag, and a backpack with snacks and other small items to grab the day-of as we head out the door.
Each day I wake up and vow to get just a few more things done that will make life a little easier once we come home. At this point, it's more of a bonus than a necessity, but every little bit helps. Yesterday I bought more toilet paper, a few boxes of prenatal vitamins, new Nylabones for the dogs, batteries for the brigade of bouncy seats and swings, and groceries to last a few more weeks. Of course, more bananas to satisfy my craving. Tonight I ordered our baby monitor and a few other things to hopefully make breastfeeding a little easier.
I still can't believe how lucky and blessed I have been. Getting off my meds was no picnic, but I have had zero complaints since finishing that last pill. I feel totally and completely healthy. It has been completely worth the 6 month trial of leaving my meds. I cannot sing the praises of my dream team (doctor, therapist, and midwife) enough. From their excitement the moment I first asked them about trying to become pregnant to the last appointment with each, I have felt nothing but their unfailing support. I am beyond blessed to have the best husband in the world. I don't care if you think that sentence is total mush and gushing. He is. When the hormones take over, he's right there. When I just wanted to scream as I was going off my meds, there he was. If I start gushing even more over the support of my family and friends and you awesome readers, well, I'd just start bawling, so let's stop here. It's been great. Hard, but great. On top of that, having a relatively easy pregnancy that came quickly post-meds... it's been a dream.
I know it's going to be hard and crazy and I'll probably cry a lot. But I hope I always remember this feeling of being completely and utterly grateful to my God, my medical team, my husband, my family, my friends, and you. I hope I get to share some excellent news very soon!
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